“The goal is not to label children. The goal is to better understand what they may need in order to function, cope, connect and thrive.”
Michelle Pargman, LMHC – Clinical Consultant
Every child has hard days. A bad grade, a fight with a friend or stress from a new school year can lead to changes in mood or behavior. But sometimes parents notice changes that seem bigger or last longer. How can you tell when it’s time to seek help?
During a recent member information session, Lucet experts Tegan Camden, LPC, (VP, Clinical Operations) and Michelle Pargman, LMHC (Clinical Consultant) shared guidance for parents who want to better understand their child’s mental health needs and connect with the right support.
Trust your instincts
Children and teens do not always say when they are struggling. In many cases, emotional distress shows up in other ways.
“It may look like headaches and stomachaches. It may look like sleep disturbance or difficulty concentrating, mood swings, changes in eating habits, or trouble coping with everyday life,” Pargman said.
Parents should focus on patterns rather than a single bad day. Changes that affect daily life, relationships, school performance or sleep may be signs that extra support is needed.
Pargman encouraged parents to trust what they are seeing.
“You know your children better than anyone,” she said. “We encourage you to use your instincts.”
Look beyond labels
Mental health concerns can look very different from one child to another. Anxiety, depression, ADHD and trauma-related concerns may have overlapping symptoms. What matters most is understanding how a child is functioning day to day.
While diagnoses can help guide treatment, Pargman reminded parents not to let a diagnosis define a child.
“The goal is not to label children. The goal is to better understand what they may need in order to function, cope, connect and thrive,” she said.
“When children and teens feel heard and understood and supported, they’re often more willing to seek help and engage in care when they need it.”
Tegan Camden, LPC – VP, Clinical Operations
Start with one step
Many parents feel overwhelmed when trying to figure out where to begin. The good news is that you do not need to have everything figured out before reaching out.
“Often one of the best starting points can actually be your child’s pediatrician,” Pargman said.
Pediatricians can help rule out medical issues that may affect mood, behavior or sleep. School counselors and other school staff can also be important partners because they often see how a child is functioning during the school day.
Meet your child where they are
When a child is struggling, it is natural to want to fix the problem right away. Camden encouraged parents to slow down and focus on listening first.
“A good first step is often helping them to identify and name what they’re feeling,” she said. “Instead of trying to solve the problem immediately, try focusing on just listening and creating a safe space for them to talk.”
Camden also stressed that treatment is not one-size-fits-all.
“The key takeaway here is that different ages often benefit from different approaches,” she said.
Younger children, teens and young adults often need different types of support based on their age, development and needs.
Support, not pressure
As children grow, friendships and social circles play an important role in how they understand emotions and mental health. Hearing peers talk about stress, anxiety or other challenges can shape how young people view their own experiences.
Camden emphasized that it is important for families to help children understand that some anxiety is a normal part of life. At the same time, children need to learn how to care about others without taking on responsibility for their feelings or problems. Healthy boundaries help kids offer support while still taking care of their own well-being.
“Teach our children about empathy with boundaries. Because when we have empathy with no boundaries, that leads to burnout,” Pargman explained.
Helping children understand both emotional awareness and healthy boundaries can build resilience, strengthen relationships and make it easier to seek support when needed.
Help is available
The most important thing is to stay connected and take action when concerns arise. Any mention of suicide or self-harm or a sudden severe change in behavior is a reason to seek help right away. Call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (within the U.S.) or go to your nearest emergency room if you are worried about your child’s immediate safety.
Mental health care is a journey. Finding the right provider and treatment approach can take time. Progress may not always be a straight line, and that is normal.
“Connection always comes before solutions,” Camden said. “When children and teens feel heard and understood and supported, they’re often more willing to seek help and engage in care when they need it.”
Rachel Jenkins is marketing manager at Lucet.
