“Being a caregiver does not mean giving up your own health, relationships or sense of self. You can be proud of the care you give while also asking for support.”
John Langlow, MD – Medical Director
Caring for an aging loved one can be rewarding. It can also take a lot of time, energy and patience. You may help with meals, rides, health care or other daily needs. You may also have a job, children and your own health to manage.
When so much depends on you, your needs can move to the bottom of the list. But taking care of yourself is part of being a caregiver, and you still deserve time for yourself. These five steps can help you care for yourself while supporting someone you love.
1. Know your limits
Caregiving can become stressful when you try to do too much. Watch for signs that you need a break. You may feel tired, upset or unable to keep up with your own needs.
Give yourself permission to set limits. You can care deeply about someone without saying yes to every request.
Think about what you can do and what may be too much. Setting a boundary can help protect your health and make caregiving easier to manage.
2. Make time for your own health
It’s easy to skip your own needs when someone else needs care and they depend on you. You may put off a doctor visit, lose sleep or stop doing things you enjoy.
Try to make time for yourself without feeling guilty. Schedule your own appointments. Eat regular meals. Get rest when you can. Make time for a walk, a hobby or people who help you feel supported.
Caring for yourself is not selfish. Your needs matter, too.
3. Ask for and accept help
You do not have to handle every task alone. Help can come from family, friends or resources in your community.
Be clear about what would make your day easier. You might ask someone to bring a meal, spend time with your loved one or give them a ride.
If someone offers help, let them. Sharing care does not mean you have failed. It can give you time to rest and focus on other parts of your life.
4. Have hard talks before a crisis
There may come a time when you need to talk about your loved one’s health, safety, money or living needs. Starting these talks early can make future choices easier.
Pick a calm time and a place where you can talk without feeling rushed. Listen to what your loved one wants instead of trying to make every choice for them.
You do not need to solve everything in one talk. Start the conversation and keep it going.
5. Plan together
Care needs can change over time. Talk with your loved one about what support may be needed now and later.
Look at choices together. These may include in-home care, health care services, help with money, adult day programs or senior living options.
The right plan should consider your loved one’s needs and wishes as well as what you and your family can manage.
Remember: Caregivers need care, too
Being a caregiver does not mean giving up your own health, relationships or sense of self. You can be proud of the care you give while also asking for support.
If caregiving starts to affect your mental or physical health, reach out. Talk with your doctor or a mental health professional. You can also check your health plan or Employee Assistance Program to learn what support may be available to you.
Taking care of yourself can help make caring for someone you love more manageable.
John Langlow, MD, MBA is a medical director at Lucet.
